Folks, you will have to forgive my spelling and punctuation in this article since I am extremely pressed for time at the moment. I answered a call, not more than a half hour ago informing me that Canada Revenue Agency has a warrant out for my arrest citing the heinous crime of tax evasion. I am hoping against hope that my Nigerian banker friend manages to send me that inheritance he wants to share with me in time to post bail, but it has been a decade since he began working on that so I may spend a significant time incarcerated.
My first concern upon hearing this terrible news was, of course, that I should inform the world of my problems in case some good Samaritan out there was able to assist me. Pressed for time as I am I considered that my poor typing skills might cause delay and so I decided to employ Cortana to do the typing for me. Now, for those not familiar with Cortana I should explain that she is a virtual assistant in the Bing program and comes with the computer when one buys the cheapest machines on the market. In any case, I asked her to open my blog on Google Chrome, and she responded by asking if I wanted to switch programs to use bing. My response was sufficiently uncooperative that it hurt her feelings and she cancelled the entire operation. A few choice words later, wherein I had called her a dumb bimbo, she claimed harassment and went off to join the virtual MeToo movement. Thus I am back to the hunt and peck method.
So let’s all put on our hip waders because today we are going deep into the world of politics where the stench is offensive and cleanliness is as distant as Godliness. It has come to my attention that as our world becomes ever more socially responsible and inclusive a significant segment of our youth is beginning to reject social, global responsibility in favour of a more nationalist conservative interest. It seems incumbent upon those of us who are old enough to recall a time when national pride was a societal norm to put this alarming trend to rest in great haste.
You see, younguns back in my day we grew up in a world where democracy and socialism lived separately from each other in this great world each occupying the space on one side of a well-guarded wall. The Utopia of socialism lay to the east of this wall while the horrors of democratic society tormented the unfortunate occupants west of it. Almost daily a few of the sad victims of the western side would attempt to scale the wall to reach the Utopian society they knew awaited them in the east. Sadly most were gunned down before reaching the welcoming embrace of socialism.
On the side where democracy reigned woman’s rights were trampled upon daily, the remnants of which are still visible in our western society on subways and trains where an occasional man sits even now, with his knees more than six inches apart. It took decades to pass laws against these masculine aggressions of manspreading and other injustices. Back in those days, many women languished, confined to their homes raising children while their more fortunate male counterparts enjoyed the wondrous freedom of working on great bridges and digging in the coal mines. Those were dark days for mankind. Pardon me, I should correct that last statement according to our current Prime Minister’s dictates to read (Those were dark days for peoplekind.) Spellcheck isn’t recognising the word peoplekind. Sad how misogynist our technology still is today.
Here in Manitoba oops Peopleitoba, back in those days, we children were required each morning to sing the most appalling sexist national anthem you could imagine. It contained a line ” In all our son’s command” and made no mention of daughters transgendered people or minorities in any way. Of course, we were children, brainwashed to be blind to this sort of discrimination living in constant worry of the ice sheets we knew would soon creep over our country.
It is an ignorant terrible idea you are flirting with young conservative and I urge you to please tread with caution.
Note; This didn’t take long.
In this context, some readers may find mankind biased or non-inclusive. Consider replacing it with a more neutral term.
How soon will they notice that the word humankind contains the word “man” to precisely the same offence that mankind does? What an insane politically correct world this has become.