I have always been an advocate of reason and logic, but I was rudely introduced to the notion that sometimes ignorance is just worth it the other day when I was suddenly struck by a thought deep enough to cause a brain bleed. Brain bleeds are incredibly unpleasant as it turns out. In fact, I am writing these words from my hospital bed as yet undetermined whether a bed of recovery or death.
Fortunately for me, I am surrounded by competent, caring people who took the required steps to bring me into the presence of excellent brain doctors capable of salvaging at least a portion of my tortured faculties. The doctors and their various technological wizardries have made every attempt to locate the source of the bleeding but since the thought fled immediately after committing the dastardly act there is little to go on and no line of suspects for me to point out. As nearly as I can understand the matter, it was not a stroke or quite the same thing as an aneurysm, but the exact name they gave it was quickly forgotten in a drug-induced haze of pain medication. I do recall hearing at some point that it was more common in women than in men so I will blame feminism for now.
I tire rather quickly so I will attempt a quick rundown on what transpired for those curious, caring or bored. The time was twelve thirty noonish and so time to rise and shine as usual. In case this seems odd dear reader I shall indulge you a brief explanation and thank you for interrupting less as this tale of woe progresses.
I don’t believe in mornings! Nothing against you if you do, but I do not! I believe in days that begin at lunch, have an afternoon and then evening that continues until about three am. It is quite simple really. I ignore mornings, and without fail they always go away.
So I got out of bed, put on my shoes and rose to a sudden, loud, throbbing pain in my head. I considered lying back down, but it occurred to me that in the event I was having a stroke I might never rise again, so I stumbled downstairs to inform my daughters of my ills. Not long after my wonderful neighbours came in to take control of the situation and get me carted off to where the unclean belong. The pain worsened throbbing throughout the head and down into my neck accompanied by a loud wind-like noise. Ambulance stretchers have a neat feature designed to reduce unnecessary calls in that most of the victim’s body weight is set into a neck-brace ostensibly positioned for stability but just a sadistic legal method of torture. Anyway, the ride to the first hospital is about an hour, and without medication, it was long and painful. I recall arriving and waiting for a little while before my mind began to gloss things over with unconsciousness. The first tests showed the brain bleeding and the doctor surprised to find me still conscious allowed me some good old opiates. I will have to rest up a bit and finish this later.