So my wife seems to believe an article recently published by none other than myself as non-fiction ought to be relocated to the fiction designation.
For my part, I had thought my integrity as a writer might have been established at some point in the past thirty years of our marriage but hey what do I know. While I could easily be persuaded to admit that some of my work, could possibly contain certain adjectives and adverbs, chosen with deliberation to evoke certain emotional responses from a reader, it seems obvious that a writer has an obligation to make the reading experience as pleasant as it can be.
I will thus forthwith and without undue burdensome detail herein proceed to propose the best case I can present for the aforementioned article’s designation to remain as it is.
My first, but not most relevant argument rests upon the principle that change is bad. One thinks not when one is younger, but when that day inevitably comes when one awakens one morning to find that the only parts of one’s body that are not in pain, are the same parts that are no longer working it becomes abundantly clear that change is bad. At the very best change has a forty percent chance of being positive, a concession I will only make here to demonstrate the fact that I am the quintessential, eternal optimist. ( I must insert here out of a sense of integrity that I was unable, despite significant effort, to refer to myself as the quintessential, eternal optimist, without registering a visible manifestation of mirth.)
My second argument, which was to be based on evidence of survivors of my wife’s terrible driving, ( oh I forgot to mention which article the whole boondoggle referred to),
will be rather brief as none of the unfortunate deer survived to recount the horrors. One human survivor who was willing to come forward, on condition of anonymity, does recount similar recollections to the ones outlined in the article in question.
My final and most compelling argument for the article’s classification is the fact that at least one article, for which I will provide a link, can be found online detailing the plaintiff’s reckless disregard for the accepted rules of driving. The likelihood of someone publishing a false report on a matter of such gravity in this age of lawsuits and surveillance seems to minute to be questioned. After all, Google was cracking down on the fake news ever since the American election many months ago. I will hereby rest my case on the matter confident that the person who is in a position to make the final decision on this issue will agree to leave the article in the nonfiction classification. Terror on the Highway
In an entirely unrelated matter, I was browsing a site online some time ago with suggestions as to what one might do with one’s life and came upon couch-surfing. At the time I found the notion less than appealing, but due to potential domestic changes, I may find myself exploring this practice for a short period of time. Should you or someone you know happen to have a comfortable couch available in close enough proximity to my home for a man with sore feet to walk to, I would encourage you to make mention of it in the comment section of this blog. I should perhaps warn those who are considering this possibility, that I can be a slightly critical houseguest at times.