I love the woods in fall. Truth be told I love the woods in every season, but I am less fond of the wood ticks of spring, the mosquitos of summer and the frostbite of winter so that leaves fall. Until the hunters come out anyway. Dodging bullets can take tranquillity out of the forest.
I went for a walk in the woods the other day (see exhibit A), and while I was out I fell to thinking about how varied our perceptions of reality are.
A fellow I know believes the earth is flat. I have argued with him over the matter so long I would as soon it be proven the earth was flat as not at this point. As it turns out he is not alone. There is an evergrowing number of people online who are quite convinced of this. I love a good conspiracy and have spent a lot more time than I should have contemplating various conspiracy theories. We live in the information age so a person can easily educate themselves simply by watching videos and reading articles online. I will give you a brief outline of the world we live in as I understand it from the internet.
I don’t want to go too far back so I will begin where I usually do, with Hitler. Now you may not be aware of this fact but Hitler was consumed by a deep interest in the occult. He sent various expeditions hither and yon to find mysterious artefacts and information on such matters and as luck would have it he discovered aliens. Well, to be more precise they were not actually aliens but rather what we commonly refer to as aliens. They were, of course, reptilians, the minions of that mythical dragon known as Satan. Now, these unworthy sods live underneath the earth, since the earth while being flat, is also hollow. The reptilians promised Hitler all sorts of goodies, technological advances and the like, in return for chaos. You see they sustain themselves on negative human emotion such as fear and hate. So Hitler was quite successful early on in his campaigns but just as surely as he double-crossed dear old Stalin so he was also betrayed by the Reptilians who unbeknownst to Hitler were cutting deals with both the Americans and the Russians to maximize their crop yield. With the allies getting the upper hand Hitler finally settled a new deal with the reptilians that gave him the caverns of Antarctica for “Lebensraum” where they offered him sanctuary and so seven submarines filled with the ubermenschen of Hitler as well as the Fuhrer himself fled Germany to their chilly promised land while the Jews went back to theirs. The Americans acutely upset at his escape sent Admiral Byrd after him in “Operation Highjump” but the aliens having presumably assessed the remaining Nazi’s worthy of keeping on ice so to speak sunk Byrds ships and sent him limping home in a defeat so embarrassing neither the Americans or the accompanying Russians speak of it to this very day.
The reason for the betrayal of Germany by the reptilians if I understand it correctly is that Eisenhower offered them access to citizens and cows to have their way with. In all fairness to Eisenhower, he did stipulate that the number must be kept to a minimum though the exact number has fled my memory out of shame for itself, and he also stipulated that the reptilians must erase the memories of the victims. Reptilians are con-lizards so of course while they were erasing memories they also erased records of who had or had not been abducted.
Now, this brings us naturally to their ability to shape-shift. Early on in their experiments on the abductees, the reptilians discovered certain similarities in human DNA that allowed them to infuse human embryos with reptilian DNA and so between that mix and their ability to shape-shift they were able to simply bump off key figures in the human population and replace them with reptilians. This, of course, is why we see strange glitches in videos of presidents, queens and movie stars. It also explains certain behavioural, shall we say, anomalies.
Much as I would like to explain the realities of the present as it relates to this history of ours any discussion of reptilians or aliens causes profound sleepiness in those engaged in it due to the fact they always knock us out with their special mind-numbing ray guns so I will have to return to it another day. If they don’t get to me first.